Spencer Owen, congratulations on winning the third trivia game for a song and video about you, by me.

Here are the top ten things I know about you.
10. You like to frequent California Pizza Kitchen
9. You have a big fan base in Scandinavia
8. Your hair grows at an alarmingly fast rate
7. You like Boredoms, R. Kelly, Prince, and 48,397 other musical artists
6. You have an obsession with Paul Simon’s “Graceland”
5. You wear vintage blazers to work
4. You met your girlfriend at one of your performances
3. You think L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology is fascinating
2. You were the only person in L.A. without a driver’s license and actually relied on public transportation
1. You never turn down a banana if offered one.

Song to download:
spencer-owen-song

LYRICS:
Banana! Banana! Banana! Banana!

Hey man on the telephone
Thrift store blazer on a Tuesday morn
at the movies with a large popcorn
When you were in LA you had to ride the bus home

Beck and Tom Cruise got something in common
‘Cause of them L. Ron Hubbard ain’t eatin’ top ramen
You got more potions than an Amazon Shaman
Is that how you picked up your lady when you were onstage jammin’?

Never been known to turn down a banana
You eat them ridin’ a horse in Montana
You eat them at Mardis Gras in Louisiana
Do you eat them on the plane back from Scandanavia?

Have you ever had a race?
Between the hair on your head and the hair on your face?
Twenty bucks says they both come in first place
Your hair is on crystal meth tweakin’ at a fast pace

Hey Spencer Owen
You keep the fresh beats flowin’
Do you dig Purple Rain
Play it my party that I’m throwin’

Hey Spencer Owen
Do you like the brothers Cohen
California Pizza Kitchen
If you’re headed I’m goin’

These are the ways of Spencer Owen
As he’s flowin’ through the universe in style
Let’s turn up R Kelly and Prince
And we will be here for a while

The other day I asked a trivia question on Facebook: what artist sang the lyrics “focus on the quasar in the mist, the kaiser has a cyst, and I’m a blank want list the qualms you have and if they stick…” I offered to write a song and shoot a video for the person who gave me the correct answer. Tony Olsen answered correctly; the artist is Pavement.

Tony, I don’t know too much about you, but I think you’ll find the lyrics and video suited to your lifestyle and personality. Here are top ten things that I do know about you:

1. You went to high school with our mutual friend, Michael Cormier.
2. One of the handful of times we hung out, you hopped out of Michael’s beater station wagon in downtown San Francisco, grabbed a skateboard in the back, and chased down some random girl you thought was pretty, only to come back a minute later in defeat.
3. We were in Michael’s band “Milk Chopper”, but we never practiced or played together. Apparently you can still buy the CD and listen to songs on CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/cd/milkchopper
4. You had long hair, then you had short hair, then you had long hair, then you had short hair.
5. You stick people with needles for a living.
6. You might have been in some gnarly car accident in high school with Michael, but those details are fuzzy.
7. You write in ALL CAPS on Facebook, and I’m pretty sure everywhere else too.
8. Your answer to my trivia question was: AND I M A BLANK ONE @@@ .. SO HIGH HO SILVER ROCK … DUN DUN NA NA NA NA NA 2 HIGH HO @@22 + SHIT NEXT CCHORUS LINE @@@ + I WANT A GODDAM SONG WRITTEN ABOUT MY PEE @
9. I’m pretty sure you wanted me to write a song about your pee.
10. Your favorite music is: “ANYTHING BEAUTIFUL AND CREATIVE”

Enjoy the song and possibly the worst music video ever made. Here are the lyrics:

CHORUS
Tony Testosteroni
Cures your egobronchophony
Needles in the epidermis
Got some green tea in your Thermos

BRIDGE
Oooh, I’m feelin’ mellow, island style
Mahalo yo
But Tony, we miss you in the bay
It’s just me and Cormier

And the song to download:
tonyo