Sometimes I get a little too cocky. I think I can write hit kid’s songs, make award-winning snacks, and give a Sassoon haircut. What you don’t know is that four out of five songs get panned (”If you do drugs, I’ll fuckin’ kill you” aren’t appropriate lyrics), snacks have induced fits of gagging (don’t try to mix cabbage in a smoothie), and my hair cutting abilities aren’t worthy of military barber’s assistant. I really had high hopes for my hairstyling career. I was going to prove to the world in this video that I could give a kick ass cut on my first try. While the end result wasn’t that bad, it took me almost an hour to accomplish. I kept cleaning it up and cleaning it up until there was nothing left but a $5 buzz cut. But you know, for the most part my kids don’t really care about all that stuff. We have a deal that if I wrong them in any way they’ll get an ice cream and a crisp $20 bill. They’re going to be fat and I’m going to be broke by November, 2009.