When my boy had his third birthday, I thought I’d forgo hiring an entertainer and just do it myself. I procrastinated and procrastinated until there were just 10 days left. I finally sat down and realized that it wasn’t too hard to write songs for a three year old boy. First off, I wrote a song about my musical persona, Crash Lightning, with just two lines of lyrics. Piece of cake. Then I wrote a song about my kid and how he likes to poop. No brainer. The I wrote a Halloween themed song. Not too hard. Finally, I ripped off Metallica’s “Master of Puppets” and made my own version, “Master of Mischief.”

Okay, now I’ve got my daughter’s seventh birthday in just five days and I told her I would write some songs. Dude, seven-year-old girls are way more complicated than three-year-old boys! There’s the “High School Musical” obsession, the clothes obsession, the art obsession, the new earring obsession, and the draaaama. Gotta step up my game. My problem is I only have time to write one song, but I’m having trouble narrowing down the subject matter. Can anyone give me some advice? There’s something in it for you if you help.